Happy homecoming anniversary, Stokes

On this day one year ago, Stokes came home after spending 70 days in the NICU. He came home on an apnea monitor, but otherwise healthy and perfect! Here's my post about him coming home.

I remember very distinctly that I had a breakdown in the NICU when they suggested that Stokes be discharged. At that time, Thomas was at home with Ryan and I was visiting Stokes and William in the safety and comfort of the NICU, where the boys were being very well taken care of by a team of qualified and confident nurses and doctors. I didn't feel ready to have 2 babies at home. I didn't feel adequate. I didn't think I could handle it and take care of both of them. We didn't have any family scheduled to come for a few more days and I was terrified of taking care of 2 newborns. I must have seemed so shaken and unstable about the whole thing that the neonatologist offered to keep Stokes in the NICU for another day or 2 so I could wrap my head around the upcoming change. I had a little breakdown, but decided to suck it up and be a real mom. I told the staff there that I wanted him to come home that day, even though I was very scared. They kept asking me if I was sure. I must have really seemed kind of crazy for them to be so concerned. But I had made my decision and stuck by it.

Thomas and I were really unsure how the first night was going to go down. Both boys slept in our bedroom in a pack n play. Everything went as well as can be expected. I think I needed a smooth night and relatively easy transition so that I didn't completely break down and really lose it. My confidence in being a mother was very shaky and in hindsight, I think God was looking out for me that night.

Stokes, you make every day fun and exciting. You always keep us on our toes and we love you for it. Happy homecoming anniversary!

November 3, 2013

In the car seat and ready to go

Time to head out! Thomas was waiting
outside in the car with Ryan.

Thomas with both boys

Stokes swaddled up

Stokes (left) and Ryan (right)

November 4, 2014....


Handsome boy

Yep, you guessed it - he can STAND now

He's so proud of himself